I remember when
it happened actually, the moment she became my best friend, my confidant, my
partner in crime, and my sister from another mister. We had been friends for
quite a while. We coached a high school cheerleading team and were spending quite
a bit of time together. On the outside we appeared to be very different. I was
eight years old when she was born. I grew up in the mountains while she was a
city girl. She was a dancer, and I was a cheerleader. I had been married for almost twenty years,
and she was still a newlywed in my eyes with just a couple of years of marriage
under her belt. She was a proud mother of twins who were just beginning their
journey through life, while I was a proud mother of two teenagers and a wise
beyond her years eight year old. It seemed that we were worlds apart. And then
it happened. She became my best friend….
My
grandmother had been ill for quite a while when she succumbed to the dreadful
disease of ovarian cancer. She died in the fall. I was especially close to my
grandmother, and even though we knew death was inevitable and would be a
blessing when it came because she would leave the pain and suffering behind and
enter paradise to live with her Savior. My papaw would also be there to greet
her as well as other family members that she had lost throughout her life on
earth. Still, losing my grandmother was a hard thing to do. She not only was my
grandmother but a dear friend that I loved to visit with. She would always
listen to my words, always made time for me. She would truly listen and not
give unwanted advice like I have seen other grandparents do. She listened.
Losing her was a changing point in my life. She had been the only grandparent I
had known for almost a decade, and as I became a wife and mother, her advice
and her approval were very important to me. Losing her was hard.
I remember
standing in the church at visitation and greeting friends and neighbors who had
come to show their respect to my grandmother and comfort my family. I remember
looking at the door of the church and seeing Tammy walk through the church
door. She had a very uncomfortable look on her face as she walked toward me.
She held a card in her hand. As she approached me, my heart melted, and she
stepped inside that broken heart and never left.
Tammy
coming to my grandmother’s visitation was special in many ways. You see, there
were friends that I had known forever who didn’t come. Not that I don’t
understand prior commitments and travel issues, but many just didn’t come. I
knew that Tammy had never been to a visitation before. She had never
experienced death in her family on a close level where she was expected to attend
funerals and such. She came for me. She came alone, and I knew how hard that
had to be for her. She knew no one except me, and she came, just for me.
My
grandmother died **** years ago. I still miss her. Some relationships can never
be replaced. But my friendship with Tammy began to grow. We began to spend more
time together at practices, games, and on the phone. The more time we spent
together the more we shared about our lives. We knew who the other had dated in
high school, what was our most embarrassing moments in life, what we loved the
most, what we feared the most. We just began to grow together in a way that best
friends do. It didn’t matter that we hadn’t grown up at the same time, in the
same place, or were the same age. We just began to live our lives together. A
song would come on the radio and Tammy would say, “That was my favorite song
when I was in college,” or I would say, “We had a pom routine to that song when
I was in high school”. We realized both of us had been given Annette as a
middle name, and we each had a story to share about how we had received it.
Just little moments of sharing bits and pieces of nothing joined us together on
a level I had never experience before in a friendship though I had many, many
dear friends.
We became
family, a family of choice. We had a love and respect for each other that was
very hard to find among friends. One of the hardest times of my adult life was
when Tam and her family moved from our hometown and settled about four hours
away. That was such a trying time for me to give up our daily visits and time
together to phone calls and holiday visits. It was a time I feared I might lose
my bestie to circumstance. However, true friendship cannot be broken and
absence does indeed make to heart grow fonder. This just doesn’t apply to our
significant others, but to true friends as well.
I cannot
measure the times when my heart has been broken by family issues, and I pick up
my phone and have a text that reads, “Hi! I love you!” or “Good morning
Sunshine.” She can make me smile when I hurt and laugh when I cry. I know the
Lord placed her in my life for a very special reason, and even though we may
not see each other every day, we love each other every day, and I know if I
need her, and she knows if she needs me, we are just a phone call away. I love
you Tammy Annette Buff Wilson!!!!!
