My BFF!!!!!

            I remember when it happened actually, the moment she became my best friend, my confidant, my partner in crime, and my sister from another mister. We had been friends for quite a while. We coached a high school cheerleading team and were spending quite a bit of time together. On the outside we appeared to be very different. I was eight years old when she was born. I grew up in the mountains while she was a city girl. She was a dancer, and I was a cheerleader.  I had been married for almost twenty years, and she was still a newlywed in my eyes with just a couple of years of marriage under her belt. She was a proud mother of twins who were just beginning their journey through life, while I was a proud mother of two teenagers and a wise beyond her years eight year old. It seemed that we were worlds apart. And then it happened. She became my best friend….

            My grandmother had been ill for quite a while when she succumbed to the dreadful disease of ovarian cancer. She died in the fall. I was especially close to my grandmother, and even though we knew death was inevitable and would be a blessing when it came because she would leave the pain and suffering behind and enter paradise to live with her Savior. My papaw would also be there to greet her as well as other family members that she had lost throughout her life on earth. Still, losing my grandmother was a hard thing to do. She not only was my grandmother but a dear friend that I loved to visit with. She would always listen to my words, always made time for me. She would truly listen and not give unwanted advice like I have seen other grandparents do. She listened. Losing her was a changing point in my life. She had been the only grandparent I had known for almost a decade, and as I became a wife and mother, her advice and her approval were very important to me. Losing her was hard.

            I remember standing in the church at visitation and greeting friends and neighbors who had come to show their respect to my grandmother and comfort my family. I remember looking at the door of the church and seeing Tammy walk through the church door. She had a very uncomfortable look on her face as she walked toward me. She held a card in her hand. As she approached me, my heart melted, and she stepped inside that broken heart and never left.

            Tammy coming to my grandmother’s visitation was special in many ways. You see, there were friends that I had known forever who didn’t come. Not that I don’t understand prior commitments and travel issues, but many just didn’t come. I knew that Tammy had never been to a visitation before. She had never experienced death in her family on a close level where she was expected to attend funerals and such. She came for me. She came alone, and I knew how hard that had to be for her. She knew no one except me, and she came, just for me.

            My grandmother died **** years ago. I still miss her. Some relationships can never be replaced. But my friendship with Tammy began to grow. We began to spend more time together at practices, games, and on the phone. The more time we spent together the more we shared about our lives. We knew who the other had dated in high school, what was our most embarrassing moments in life, what we loved the most, what we feared the most. We just began to grow together in a way that best friends do. It didn’t matter that we hadn’t grown up at the same time, in the same place, or were the same age. We just began to live our lives together. A song would come on the radio and Tammy would say, “That was my favorite song when I was in college,” or I would say, “We had a pom routine to that song when I was in high school”. We realized both of us had been given Annette as a middle name, and we each had a story to share about how we had received it. Just little moments of sharing bits and pieces of nothing joined us together on a level I had never experience before in a friendship though I had many, many dear friends.

            We became family, a family of choice. We had a love and respect for each other that was very hard to find among friends. One of the hardest times of my adult life was when Tam and her family moved from our hometown and settled about four hours away. That was such a trying time for me to give up our daily visits and time together to phone calls and holiday visits. It was a time I feared I might lose my bestie to circumstance. However, true friendship cannot be broken and absence does indeed make to heart grow fonder. This just doesn’t apply to our significant others, but to true friends as well.

            I cannot measure the times when my heart has been broken by family issues, and I pick up my phone and have a text that reads, “Hi! I love you!” or “Good morning Sunshine.” She can make me smile when I hurt and laugh when I cry. I know the Lord placed her in my life for a very special reason, and even though we may not see each other every day, we love each other every day, and I know if I need her, and she knows if she needs me, we are just a phone call away. I love you Tammy Annette Buff Wilson!!!!!